Disconnected

Hi all and happy thursday. A week ago today, my phone broke. Not sure what happened but it just froze + wouldn’t get to the home screen. I called apple support, verizon + consulted the internet to try and get it fixed to no success. Finally, 2 days later, on Saturday, I made my way to Verizon to get a new phone. During those two days I realized something so profound that I feel not many of us realize: we are so damn dependent on our phones and we can’t do anything without them.

I was fuming that my phone broke at first, I needed to snapchat, text people back, post on Instagram + more. How was I going to make it through a shift at work with no phone????? How would I hang out with my friends with no phone?

I am not going to lie, all day Friday I carried my phone with me. I carried a broken phone in my hand as a security blanket because I did not feel that I  could go without it. Isn’t that pathetic? On Saturday, I went to Columbus for a CHAARG event + didn’t bring my phone because I realized there is literally no point to carrying a $1000 paperweight around with me for 5 hours but it was so weird. You never realize how often you or other people are on their phones until you physically cannot be on your phone. I wanted to take pictures, I wanted to follow new people on Instagram, and I could not. I wanted to mask silent moments in the car with my phone but I could not.

It’s truly comical to me that as I was planning this post that the title that came to me was disconnected. I was in fact not disconnected, not in the slightest. When I had access to wifi aka on campus and in my apartment I had access to my laptop + all my friends. Yet, because i could not have my phone attached to my hip for roughly 48 hours, I felt disconnected. It makes you think, doesn’t it? We’re so reliant on these devices, for everything. From social media, to maps, to a calculator, to email, and everything in between on these pieces of hardware that when they break, we feel incomplete. It blows my mind.

Honestly, it was nice. I wish my phone broke more often [or that I would just leave it at home haha]. I talked a lot more to the people around me. I had good genuine conversations with friends because when they knew I didn’t have a phone, they also stayed off theirs. The CHAARG event was also made more special for me personally because I had no phone. I had to interact with others and be present in the moment which I loved. Yeah I wanted to photograph it and post about it on every social media platform I have, however, it became more special to me, to sit there and let it all soak in.

A guy I hung out with Saturday after my phone was fixed said to me, “I liked it more when your phone was broken.” I was high key crushed. Was I really on my phone that much? It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. Because of this whole ordeal, I want to be more present. I set locks on various apps so I can only be on them for certain amounts of time. I’m paying a lot of attention to my screen time data on my phone and trying to get it to be less and less each day. It’s hard to not be as connected as everyone else and I think it’s normal to feel the need to be on our phones as much as we are because it’s what everyone else is doing. But I’d much rather be having these genuine conversations, reading, writing, getting ahead on work, or doing literally anything else except solely existing on this small screen.

Much Love ❤

Alicia

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Finding the good in every day

Hi all. I’m writing again. 2 DAYS IN A ROW! In the midst of my busy, I’m trying to find time to do the things that bring me joy. I was going to write again last night but once I finally got home, did homework, and got ready for bed… I was exhausted! So, I’ll take what I can get. I have a small break in between 2 meetings and the gym and class so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to write.

I downloaded the app Daylio a while back [you rate your mood for the day and add what you did, notes etc.] and I was looking at my monthly calendar view and realized I don’t have a lot of great days. Most of my days are either meh or bad [their words not mine] and my good days are few and far between. With my relationship with my brain, however, I am less than surprised. On Monday, for this CHAARG challenge, we were challenged to post about 10 things that made us smile that day. It was a damn struggle let me tell you.

I came up with the following:

  1. I did ALL my laundry
  2. I slept in warm clean sheets
  3. I cleaned my room [we’re seeing a trend here… I did a lot of cleaning]
  4. I hit my step goal
  5. I had a delicious smoothie
  6. I taught an entire lesson in Spanish to people who didn’t speak Spanish AND THEY UNDERSTOOD ME
  7. I saw some very positive post-it notes
  8. I looked cute as heck
  9. I can breathe again because I’m not sick anymore
  10. I did the face mask that makes me feel like a snake.

Doing that made me realize that the day wasn’t as bad as I initially thought. Good things happened among what I would label as a ‘bad’ day. There is good in every day. Not to sound like a middle-aged white woman’s kitchen wall, but I want to try and find the good in every day. So, I decided to start using my 5-minute journal again [I won one in a CHAARG giveaway and lasted a whole 5 days :/ ] to reflect on my days and share what the good was. I think it will help my mental health immensely and will help change my mindset to see the good things over the bad that happen in a 24 hour period.

Will I keep up with the 5-minute journal? Only time will tell. Will I make a conscious effort to remember the good that happened to me in the day when filling out my daylio entry? Absolutely. Here’s to finding the good in every day.

A good thing that’s happened today, you may ask? I ran into one of my favorite people, Sam, during a break we both had + we got to sit and chat for about 20 minutes :’)

Much Love,

Alicia ❤

My need to lead

Hi all. It’s been a while. I have had roughly zero time to write recently. Between being gravely ill not once but twice, 7 classes which all include an obnoxious amount of work, my job, CHAARG, 4 Paws, and trying not to have more than one mental breakdown a week. Remember how last semester I told myself I wasn’t going to be pouring from an empty cup? It’s happening. So, today I wanted to come on here and figure my shit out [take a shot every time I’ve said that].

The concept of leadership is frustrating to me. I crave being a leader. I think I’m a natural born leader with a lot of self-doubt issues paired with crippling anxiety which makes me a rather awkward leader. When I’m confident about something I find leading easy. I’m able to make decisions on the fly and have the confidence in every decision I make. When I’m not so confident I tend to overthink my decisions, become indecisive, look to every possible source for advice [my whole college career], and may come off as a poor leader. I’m not sure if that’s true or if it’s my brain telling me it’s true, but it’s what I think.

Despite what my brain thinks, I always apply for leadership roles. Ever since elementary school I was involved with clubs where I looked to lead, I was on student government in leadership roles all throughout my middle school and high school careers, I was an editor for the yearbook every year I was on the staff, I was golf team captain, I was the president of AST [another club in high school] I’m a manager at work, I applied to be an RA, I’m going to be a Learning Community Leader, I’m on the exec teams of both of the organizations I’m in… I could go on. Almost every single thing I’ve ever been involved in, I’ve been a leader in it. It’s natural for me, to want more. I like to keep working up the ladder as far as I can go. This is one of the reasons I thought I’d excel in Business. I’d be CEO of a company in no time ;).

Why do I do this? Why is it that I feel the need to take on any position that comes my way? Why can’t I sit on the sidelines and let others be in charge? I think it comes from my need to have control. I didn’t really know I had control issues but it’s something I’ve come to notice as of late. I have never sat on the sidelines on anything I’ve been involved in [except for when I first join] because I crave being a leader. I don’t know if it’s because I love sharing my love for whatever I’m involved in with other people, I need to be in control, the whole “You NEED leadership experience on your resume” that’s been shoved down my throat my whole life or a mix of all three, but here I am, having just applied for my newest leadership position, CHAARG Ambassador [the equivalent of the president].

I’ll be the first to say that I’ve been conflicted on doing so. I’ve wanted to apply for Ambassador since last year when I applied for the same role. [I’m glad I didn’t get it but I didn’t know that other exec applications would go out again so I applied for what I could]. After my last semester in CHAARG, I almost didn’t return to the organization let alone exec because I was so frustrated. If I was so frustrated why would I keep moving up the ladder? Why do I still want to apply for Ambassador, intern, CLC, etc. in my future CHAARG endeavors? Obviously, I love CHAARG + all it’s done for me, so naturally, I want to keep at it. But when it’s one of my greatest stressors, is it worth it? I want to keep spreading my love for CHAARG to anyone and everyone I can despite the stress I’m under. I think If I didn’t reapply I’d regret it more than if I kept doing it and was stressed as much as I normally am.

I’ve submitted my application for Ambassador and obviously, I hope that I get the position. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may not receive it and that it’s going to be okay. I might apply for another exec position [definitely not treasurer though] or I might spend my last semesters at OU as a  regular CHAARG member, once again anticipating newsletters hitting my inbox every Sunday night at 10pm and wondering what exec has planned at all the events.

If I don’t get an exec position it will be weird.  Not having control of something for one of the first times ever will be weird. It will be good too. It will be good for me. To not be in control. Either way, I think I will be okay. I’ll need to adjust but I’ll still love CHAARG. I’ll still share my love for CHAARG. Which is what it’s all about anyway.

In my future, I’m going to need to realize that I can share my love for what I love without being in control. This may be the start of that journey and it may not. But only time will tell.

“The burdens of leadership are often heavy, but the world is a better place because we have borne them” – Barack Obama

Much Love ❤

Alicia

Long time, no write

Hi all, I hope you all haven’t forgotten about me. The last time I wrote [besides essays for class] was 138 days ago. August 14th to be precise. I hadn’t started my junior year of college, I hadn’t started my first semester on CHAARG exec, I hadn’t been promoted at work, I hadn’t dyed my hair, I hadn’t changed my major [more on that later]. I hadn’t done so many things 136 days ago.

I’ve been sitting at my computer over the past few days, pondering on what to say. Why haven’t I written anything in 136 days? Why have I rarely even logged onto WordPress in these last 136 days? Why haven’t I had any motivation or longing to write?

While I don’t know the answers to those questions, I do know I’ve been pretty miserable this semester. From school, to CHAARG, to my other orgs on campus, to work, to pretty much every other aspect of my life, has been miserable.

As I’m sure you all know by now, I put far too much on my plate. I take on every activity, every class, every extracurricular, every new position that I can. I try to do it all. I’ve exhausted myself. I could not find time to write this past semester because I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. When I wasn’t at school, a student org meeting, or work, I was studying, eating, showering, or sleeping.

This semester was rough, I’ll give myself that, but next semester with a new promotion at work, and more classes, along with all of my previous commitments… how am I to handle it? Over the past few months, I’ve realized on very large thing: there aren’t enough hours in a day.

I pride myself on being busy, on filling up my planner so I have to allocate time for working out, eating, showering, etc. Why do I do this? I can’t do everything in the world and still have time for my absolute favorite thing in the world: curling up in my bed at night and doing nothing; ie. staring at my phone or reading a good book. I need to start prioritizing my time and prioritizing what I do with my time and I need to do it fast before I exhaust myself next semester as well.

2019 is in two days. I don’t want to set a million resolutions for 2019. I want to set one: follow through. I am notorious for starting things. A new school, a new major, a new job, a new application, a new blog, a new journal, etc. Yet, I can never seem to finish these things I start. I love doing SO many things but there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do everything. In 2019 I want to follow through. I want to start [or continue] things that I am passionate about and I want to follow through with those things. I need to leave things less important to me in 2018 and bring what is vital to me into 2019.

I’ve got a few more posts of life updates, year wrap-ups, etc. on my to do list before the year’s end. I just wanted to make this to show you guys I’m not done with my blog, I’m not done with my writing. I just had to take a few months to really realize what was important to me and how to keep it in my life.

Much love,

Alicia

Back to school series: apartment packing list

Hi everyone + Happy Tuesday! If you’ve been a follower for the last year or so, you may remember that I made a Back to School series last August. I got really positive feedback from it so I’ve decided to do it again this year!!! Let’s get started with it!

I am officially moved into my apartment at school + I’m very excited! Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I am living with 3 girls I do not know, all from other countries. One of them has brought her dad to stay for about 2 weeks + removed the furniture last night (unsure why) so I’m just trying to stick to my own schedule and live my own life until school starts.

So, from the title of this post you know I’m not sharing a tour of my apartment today (if I do one it will probably just be of my room) because it’s not fully finished, but it is a packing list for apartments! I definitely forgot some things and I brought things I for sure don’t need. Also, a ton of girls (freshmen) have no clue what to pack but with 22938 different packing lists available for freshmen, I figured I would make one for people in apartments because there are far fewer lists to get inspiration from but a lot more things to get! So, here is this artsy list of what to pack for an apartment (or at least what’s working for me).


Is there anything I’m forgetting or anything on this list that doesn’t need to be?

❤ Alicia ❤

August intentions

Hi everyone + Happy Tuesday!! I wrote this post last week and totally forgot about it! I head back to school in 3 days + I’m SO excited!!! As I prepare for the school year to begin, I have a lot to do + I’m putting everything on my intentions list for August. Here they are!


  1. Pack for school // I’m about half way done with this and after another load of laundry or two + some final purchases, I should be done soon!
  2. Make my apartment homey // I have been doing a bit of DIY (+ buying cute things) to get my apartment feeling like it’s all mine
  3. Prep my planner // I just got new pens + markers yesterday so I’M PUMPED to get my planner ready for this semester
  4. Develop my school routine // I’m getting back to school 2 weeks before school starts so I have plenty of time to get my workout, work, school, sleep, etc. schedules down pact.
  5. Work out 5-6 days a week // This is part of my school routine + 2 of those are already covered with CHAARG!!!
  6. Eat only things that make my body feel good // I’ve been having more stomach problems lately so I’m going to be doing a sort of experiment with foods I eat to see what is bothering my stomach
  7. Conquer my first week of school // Junior year here I come!
  8. Make some new recipes // I actually just tried a new one today (Chocolate Cherry energy bites… SO MUCH YUM) so I’m definitely ahead of the game!
  9. Start meal planning + prepping // With 6 classes MWF, eating good foods is going to take some prepping so every weekend I’m going to prep + plan my meals so I am eating healthy foods ++ enough of them

What are your intentions for the month?

❤ Alicia ❤

July wrap up

Hi everyone and happy Tuesday! Somehow July is already over!!?!?!? I’m not sure how that is! I head back to school in 11 days and I’m so excited but also so shocked that it’s time already! In typical Alicia fashion, let’s check out how my month of July went for me, goals-wise.


  1. Finish CHAARG Bootycamp // re: my last post
  2. 120 oz of water daily// Almost every single day!!
  3. Organize everything I own // Not nearly as far along with this as I’d like because of how overwhelming it is. But slow and steady wins the race!
  4. Keep planning for CHAARG // I’ve planned every social,  welcome party + end of semester party so I just have our retreat which is going not as planned because the camp has stopped responding to my emails and calls. So.. we’ll see.
  5. Get everything for my apartment bought + ready // A few things have been bought but I do have everything I still need on a list ready to go!
  6. Start DIYing // Yikes I haven’t done anything :(( I actually forgot I wanted to! I’ll have to start soon!
  7. Work on training my dog // We’ve been working daily and I see improvements in her behavior on walks daily so let’s see!

How did you do on your goals for July?

❤ Alicia ❤

CHAARG “Bootycamp” reflection

Happy Monday everyone! Friday was the last day of CHAARG’s summer fitness plan “CHAARG Bootycamp” and I had the opportunity to be involved with it this summer. I wanted to reflect on my experience in this fitplan as I gear up for another in October (which I get to help lead as an exec member) so why not do it here for the whole world to see?


I am and have always been very black or white. I either love you or can’t stand you (if I know you that is… if I don’t I can be indifferent), all in or all out, I work out every single day or not at all, etc. and that can be good and bad. With fitness plans, however, it’s usually pretty bad.

I’m not sure why I’m like this // how I can change this about me, but the day I take a day off (that isn’t already listed in the actual plan) I just stop with it completely. I feel like a failure even if I’m not (it’s one day, not every day haha) and can’t bring myself to get back in the swing of things.

I was doing SOOO good the first 2 weeks of the plan… and then I went to Ohio to visit some friends. While I was there I didn’t workout, I drank a lot, ate a lot, etc. and when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was workout, let alone make up the workouts I missed. So, I didn’t workout for a week-ish (seems pretty backward I know). Then I made up a few workouts, got overwhelmed, + took another break. I did, however, get back on track for the last week + did all 3 strength workouts but I still didn’t feel that great about not really finishing the fitplan, especially because I spent money on it.

I think this is mainly due to my planning, or lack thereof. The fitplan started the day after I returned from Florida so I didn’t really have time or energy to plan the next 6 weeks of my life when I had been in a car for 10 ish hours. I had one thing on my mind, sleep, and the last thing I wanted to think about was planning the next 6 weeks.

Due to this, I was off on the wrong foot to begin with and I did persevere through my unplanned workout routine for a week and a half but I desperately needed to and should have planned out my workouts. Until I have written down a time or carved it into my planner, nothing is going to happen and that’s exactly what I didn’t do. I knew this would happen and it did, so I can’t really be mad about it now. This is definitely my major takeaway from this fitplan going into my next. I need to spend a few hours of my life the days before the fitplan starts planning my workouts, my foods, etc. if I want to get it done. It’s not that fitplans don’t work // it’s that you don’t make yourself work + I know that in order to build muscle (I have the upper body strength of a newborn baby) I need to plan and stick to that plan to see the results I want.

I do want to share a positive thing about this fitplan! There was a 10 day meal plan included and it was so useful! I didn’t follow the meal plan but I did love trying new recipes that I’m definitely going to incorporate into my faily life!!

So, while this may seem like a “wow Alicia you suck” sort of post, it definitely helped me realize my faults + how I can improve them for the fall! I also will say that this week I am sort of starting fresh with these workouts and doing the ones I like the most so that I can say I did not waste my money!


Are you as black + white like me? Or is there gray area for you?

❤ Alicia ❤

Homemade ‘Nice Cream’

Hi all and Happy Thursday! I leave for school in 2 weeks so I’m taking full advantage of all the higher quality kitchen appliances that I won’t have in my apartment! One of those is my food processor. I’ve been making protein balls (expect a recipe on these too because they are DELICIOUS), hummus, and this week nice cream!


I’ve been vegan for 2 and a half-ish years and I’ve never made quite possibly the easiest (and most delicious) vegan dessert to exist. I started googling nice cream + when I saw the bananas that I had planned on making banana bread with (overripe bananas are the best for nice cream),  I chopped them up, froze them, and then made some tasty chocolate nice cream. I love making my non vegan family members try my creations because if they love them anyone will (my sister says my taste buds have definitely changed because I find weird vegan foods tasty that she claims she wants to vomit at merely the sight or smell of), however, I ate all of it (about 3 bananas worth) right after making it so I knew I had to make it again and soon.

So, when my 2 bunches of bananas were 100% overripe 3 days after I bought them, my opportunity arose. I chopped up all 8 bananas, tossed them in a plastic bag, and plopped them into the freezer while I headed to Target to get ingredients for all my potential flavor combinations

One flavor I was DYING to make was mint chocolate chip. I am a mint chocolate chip lover from way back and have yet to find a vegan option. So with peppermint extract and chocolate chips in hand, I kept searching for other flavor ideas. I also wanted to make a  strawberry flavor too, so I scooped up a bag of frozen strawberries (which were ridiculously overpriced in my opinion) and headed home since I already had mixed berries and cocoa powder for my very berry and chocolate flavors.

As I arrived back home, I set up my food processor and placed ¼ of my bananas in it, blended them up, and then added my first flavor ingredients, strawberries. I started by adding a half cup to the mixture, however, when it tasted like a frozen strawberry banana smoothie, I added another half cup of strawberries and I could not tell there were bananas in it at all.

I repeated the same process for each of my flavors, about ¼ of my bananas, and then adding cocoa powder, peppermint extract, berries, etc. to taste until I would be comfortable eating these and serving them to my family.

For those of you who want to make these yourselves

Strawberry Nice Cream

Place 2 frozen bananas + 1 cup of strawberries into a food processor and blend until creamy

Chocolate Nice Cream

Place 2 frozen bananas, 3-4 tbsp cocoa powder (to taste), 1 tsp vanilla, and a pinch of salt into a food processor and blend until creamy.

Very Berry Nice Cream

Place 2 frozen bananas + 1 cup of frozen mixed berries into a food processor and blend until creamy

Mint Chocolate Chip Nice Cream

Place 2 frozen bananas, ⅛ tsp peppermint extract (or more depending on taste preference), and a pinch of salt into a food processor and blend until creamy.To achieve the green color you can add a handful of spinach or some green food coloring ( I did both)

*If the fruit isn’t blending, add a splash of almond milk to help*


Have you made nice cream? If so, what flavors did you make?

❤ Alicia ❤

2018 intentions update

Hi everyone and happy Friday! Yesterday I got a comment on my July intentions and realized that the year is now over halfway gone. Last year I made a 17 in 2017 update post because I wanted to hold myself accountable for my goals + resolutions so that’s just what I’m going to do today! Let’s see how disciplined I am at a list I almost never look at !!!!! ( sense the sarcasm haha?)


EVERY DAY

> 1 hour of journaling//meditation//reading /// this one is totally not happening. It has been the past 2 weeks and a bit at the beginning of the year but I always forget about reading (re: my last post) so I’ve been sucking at that. Hopefully, with my newfound reading love, I’ll be better at that.

> 64 oz of water /// I’ve been kicking booty at this one. I’ve upped my water intake to 128 oz every day and hit even that almost every day!!!

> Exercise /// With CHAARG’s Bootycamp and my morning walks I do this almost every day, however, some days (usually weekends) I don’t do much of anything

EVERY WEEK

> Coffee//Lunch//Workout with someone /// lol this hasn’t happened. I do love this idea so it looks like I’m off to text some friends of mine

> Write /// I write at least once a week… at least something. Whether it be an intro to a book I’ll never finish or I blog here… I get those creative juices flowing somehow.

EVERY MONTH

> Read one book /// HAHAHAHAHA I’ve read 3 books this year (working on my 4th) so maybe if I read enough books during July and August that will counteract my garbage self from the pasts 6 and a half months.

> Discover a new podcast series /// I have 4 podcasts that I’ve been listening to, but I WOULD LOVE SUGGESTIONS SO DROP ME A COMMENT OF YOUR FAVE(S)

THIS YEAR

> Go on a vacation /// My trip to Florida so check

> Take care of my physical and mental health /// This will always be a resolution of mine and some days I am better about it than others and that’s okay.


How are you all doing on your New Year’s Resolutions?

❤ Alicia ❤