Disconnected

Hi all and happy thursday. A week ago today, my phone broke. Not sure what happened but it just froze + wouldn’t get to the home screen. I called apple support, verizon + consulted the internet to try and get it fixed to no success. Finally, 2 days later, on Saturday, I made my way to Verizon to get a new phone. During those two days I realized something so profound that I feel not many of us realize: we are so damn dependent on our phones and we can’t do anything without them.

I was fuming that my phone broke at first, I needed to snapchat, text people back, post on Instagram + more. How was I going to make it through a shift at work with no phone????? How would I hang out with my friends with no phone?

I am not going to lie, all day Friday I carried my phone with me. I carried a broken phone in my hand as a security blanket because I did not feel that I  could go without it. Isn’t that pathetic? On Saturday, I went to Columbus for a CHAARG event + didn’t bring my phone because I realized there is literally no point to carrying a $1000 paperweight around with me for 5 hours but it was so weird. You never realize how often you or other people are on their phones until you physically cannot be on your phone. I wanted to take pictures, I wanted to follow new people on Instagram, and I could not. I wanted to mask silent moments in the car with my phone but I could not.

It’s truly comical to me that as I was planning this post that the title that came to me was disconnected. I was in fact not disconnected, not in the slightest. When I had access to wifi aka on campus and in my apartment I had access to my laptop + all my friends. Yet, because i could not have my phone attached to my hip for roughly 48 hours, I felt disconnected. It makes you think, doesn’t it? We’re so reliant on these devices, for everything. From social media, to maps, to a calculator, to email, and everything in between on these pieces of hardware that when they break, we feel incomplete. It blows my mind.

Honestly, it was nice. I wish my phone broke more often [or that I would just leave it at home haha]. I talked a lot more to the people around me. I had good genuine conversations with friends because when they knew I didn’t have a phone, they also stayed off theirs. The CHAARG event was also made more special for me personally because I had no phone. I had to interact with others and be present in the moment which I loved. Yeah I wanted to photograph it and post about it on every social media platform I have, however, it became more special to me, to sit there and let it all soak in.

A guy I hung out with Saturday after my phone was fixed said to me, “I liked it more when your phone was broken.” I was high key crushed. Was I really on my phone that much? It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. Because of this whole ordeal, I want to be more present. I set locks on various apps so I can only be on them for certain amounts of time. I’m paying a lot of attention to my screen time data on my phone and trying to get it to be less and less each day. It’s hard to not be as connected as everyone else and I think it’s normal to feel the need to be on our phones as much as we are because it’s what everyone else is doing. But I’d much rather be having these genuine conversations, reading, writing, getting ahead on work, or doing literally anything else except solely existing on this small screen.

Much Love ❤

Alicia

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