Giddy but Inconclusive

Alrighty-o fam. Here we are, still giddy and such despite having worked a full shift on my feet today and wanting to pass out.

Now, we have made it this far with my college choice and major decision, here comes the hard part: choosing a school. I can recall quite vividly crying on my couch as I scrolled over every college website I possibly could, without having a major in mind. Never in my life did I think I would have to complete this process all over again unless of course, I would be attending graduate school (besides the point). However, at this point, I have a solid major and minor combo (Spanish major with photojournalism minor)  and need to find a school containing both, being cheap, and probably closer to home. I didn’t really miss home but it’s a request of my family. Also,  my training I have to go to is based out of the midwest so it helps that I’ll be closer. Also, I sort of want a smaller school because I felt like I knew like 2 people at SDSU because of how big it is.

Funny isn’t it, how when choosing my first college I wanted as far from home as I could get, big school, warm weather, and a school with a football team. After me realizing that my parents weren’t just going to sneak up on me any random time, attending one football game, and realizing I hated the big school atmosphere, I want the complete opposite from a school. I’m still on boat with the school being as cheap as possible, but honestly, who isn’t?

We have a variety of schools to choose from, not too large of a variety but enough wiggle room to have a few good schools that I’ll be sure to find at least one I love.

The school choices (so far) are…

  1. Cardinal Stritch University (Wisconsin)
  2. Otterbein University (Ohio)
  3. University of Indianapolis (Indiana)
  4. University of Tennessee-Martin (Tennessee)
  5. Andrews Universty (Michigan)
  6. Murray State University (Kentucky)
  7. Ashland University (Ohio)
  8. Winona State University (Minnesota)
  9. The University of Findlay (Ohio)
  10. Xavier University (Ohio)

I’m sort of partial to Xavier University in Cincinnati because that was actually my top choice behind SDSU but I didn’t choose it because they have no football team, it was small, and religious (I know you don’t have to be of that religion to attend but still, Theology 101… really?!)

So, who knows. Might end up at Xavier, might end up at one of the others I mentioned. Or I may even end up elsewhere.

Update on my current schooling situation. I will not be attending ASU in the fall and will most likely be staying here and working or babysitting and whatnot. However, my aunt is in town from Phoenix and still wants me to live with her. So I might go live with my aunt for the fall semester and work but honestly. who knows? Not me.

I have a lot on my plate for the next few weeks and a lot of tough decisions to make. However, I’m happy (and tired) as can be.

Alicia

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The Top 100 Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers

Hi, everyone. Look at me double posting. My life update post will be up in the next few days, however, I was checking my stats page this morning and saw that I had a lot of viewers that were referred to my blog by DietToGo.

Curious as to how that was, I clicked the link in my stats and was brought here

I immediately noticed that the post was entitled “The Top 100 Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers You’ve Probably Never Heard Of (Until Now)” and got super stoked because people have noticed I exist and they think I’m decently cool.

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Your girl (me) was lucky enough to score spot #13 on that list (happens to be my favorite number too) and I’m just so happy/stoked/honored to be put on this list with so many other amazing bloggers.

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So, I recommend everyone check out DietToGo’s post and check out all of the other amazing bloggers who are also featured on the list. I know I did!

Anyway, I want to say again how excited I am that I was featured and want to thank Caitlin (author of the post) for taking the time to hand select my blog and to read some of my posts. It means so much

Talk to you all soon,

Alicia

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To my brother…

It’s 12:04 am. I retreated to my bed over an hour ago, after receiving this news. I’m laying in bed, thinking of you. I won’t be getting to sleep anytime soon, no matter how long I count sheep or how long I paint pictures of us on my ceiling. I just stare at the ceiling, thinking of you.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How we think we know so much, but in reality we know so little? For my entire 19 years in this planet, It’s been my sister and I, well at least since she was born. I never knew you existed until today. Intriguing, right? I always thought the whole long lost sibling concept kept its place in the box of the television, but here I am, finding out after 19 years of life, I’ve had this older brother all along, and had no idea.

Everyone else knew. Well, not everyone. However, almost all of the adults I spend ample time with knew, yet somehow my sister and I were kept in this bubble of unknowingness for so long.

We sat there, my sister and I, mouths agape, as my our mom told us about you. Our half-brother, who grew up less than 45 minutes from where we live, and somehow we had no idea you existed.

12:09 now. I’m numb, still cozy in bed, still thinking about you. You know I exist, you’ve seen pictures of me. What do you think of me? Did you want two sisters? I always wanted an older brother. I nagged constantly to my mom that I wished I had been born second and that I had an older brother. And I do.

My Our mom showed me your instagram today. You look almost identical to my uncle, Jim, so I know we’re related. You’re my brother. I have a brother. Sorry if I keep saying that. Truth is, the facts haven’t sunk in yet.

As many times as scroll through your pictures, trying to absorb as much as I can through those square photos of your friends, family and 2 cats, I can’t wrap my head around it. How did I not know? How did I not know I had a brother? I have a brother.

12:12 and I’m upright, still trying to process how this happened. How you exist. How I never knew. How everyone kept this a secret from my sister and I for so long. Neither of us can. How did you never come up in conversation? How did your name never slip out?

I want to cry, buy why? What’s the point? I have a brother, and I didn’t know. I think it’s because I always wanted one. I always wanted a brother to look up to, to show me the ropes, to make sure no one picked on me, make sure mom and dad never gave me too hard of a time.

You were 11 when I was born. You had no idea I existed then. That my mom existed. You lived less than 40 minutes away from me but we had no idea. Crazy.

My mom told my sister and I about 6 hours ago now. We were in the living room, I was checking twitter and my sister was eating. She said she had something to tell us that she didn’t know how to say.

Immediately thinking the worst, I assumed someone had died. But really, someone was born, not really but born into my world, anyway.

There isn’t much to say about you. I don’t know you… I may never. I know nothing about you, but you’re my brother.

You were born on June 22nd, 1986 at 2:13 am. Your name is Evan. You have 2 cats. You live in Los Angeles. And I hope you want to meet me. I really do. Because you have two younger sisters that want to meet their big brother.

I love you already, even if you don’t know it yet.
Alicia

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P.S. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, with finals and getting home a few days ago and then this news I haven’t had much time to do anything.

To my ex-best friend (The Queen),

Each time I see people sharing links with this title on facebook, I immediately think of you. I click on the link quickly, trying to see if their relationship was anything like ours. If their ending was anything like ours. It never is. Upon reading at least ten of them not one of them is relatable to how we stopped being friends. I like to think it’s because our friendship was unlike any other, so if it had to end, it would unlike any other as well.

Where does one even begin? At one point in my life, you were there for everything. From my bad days, my good days, and everything in between. You stuck by me through my awkward days and how you did that I have no idea and truly can’t thank you enough.

I had never had a friend like you until I met you and I don’t think I’ll ever have someone to compare to you after the years of friendship that we had. For years, I told you everything. I told you every minuscule detail about my life. From each boy I was in love with  that week, to what so-and-so said about me. Everything. That’s what best friends do; they tell each other everything, the good and the bad. From how I aced my test or that it didn’t look like you had brushed your hair this month. And that’s just what we did.

We had our weddings planned out. We’d be each other’s maid of honors. Not telling our sister yet of course 😉 We spent almost every waking second together. You’d picked bridesmaids dresses to ensure that they were a color I would look good in. We had our lives planned out together. After graduating from college we were moving to Hoboken in a small apartment waiting to find true love and high paying jobs.

I will never forget the day I met you in 6th grade in Science class.  You know I’m not much for believing in fate, but we were both in the process of losing best friends. I’d like to think we entered each other’s lives to lessen this burden and to take on the best friend title. I will never forget how you came to my house in 7th grade, and we took photo booth pictures together with my sister. Or in eighth grade when you came over on the snow day and we built such a pathetic snowman, but it was great because I made it with my best friend. I will never forget our summer bucket list blog and how we tried cramming the last 30 items on the list into 3 days. I will cherish those memories forever.

I want to thank you. I want to thank you for being my rock and my best friend. I want to thank you for always believing in me and helping me achieve my goals, one baseball pun at a time. I want to thank you for being the best friend I have ever had, and probably ever will. You have given all of my friends, present and future, such high expectations to meet, even if they don’t know it yet.

I want to thank you for opening up your home and for letting me befriend your entire family, even if I was always afraid of your dad. When I saw your dog died on facebook, I cried. Calby was such a sweetie, and while he was no Gracie, he was still a cute pup. When I saw your mom got diagnosed with cancer, I cried and I called my mom. I knew I had to text you. I knew it wouldn’t matter to you that I did, but she was my second mom for so many years, and I wanted to make sure you were both okay. I just want to thank you for impacting such a stressful and amazing time of my life, for the good and for the bad.

I also want to say that I’m sorry. I know we’ll never be friends again and I’m not saying that’s what I want. We’re different people than we were junior year.

I’m sorry we ended the way we did. Everyone says that friendships end because they drifted apart or they were too different. We weren’t different or drifting apart. We were basically the same person (other than the fact that I wore sweatpants every day and you wore dresses) and we were spending even more time together than usual.  We starting hating each other, slowly and then all at once, the tension in every room we were in could be cut with a knife. We had more bad days than good days and I couldn’t take it. But I couldn’t tell you that. I hate discussing feelings (something I’ve improved upon since we stopped talking). We were both too afraid of feelings and confrontation that we avoided each other until our only way of communication was through letters and our friends acting as carrier pigeons.

Now remember, I have nothing against you, and I want to say that the time being your best friend were some of the best years of my life. I wish you nothing but the best in life, whether I’m in it to some extent or not is fine by me. I just wanted to for once in my life being open with my feelings (like you always told me to be) even if it is 2 years late.

Much love and summer fun
(Princess) Alicia (Jane Catherine) Heninger
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P.S. the turtle I named after you died. Thought you should know

Let the Holiday Season Begin

Happy November. Also known as “Start of the Holiday Season.” People begin prepping for Thanksgiving and then comes Black Friday shopping. Then for students come finals. After that Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and suddenly it’s the New Year and it’s time to start another year all over again. The Holiday Season is such a hustle and bustle of last minute shopping, picture taking, and just a whole lot of celebrating, which is why it’s definitely my favorite time of the year. The joy that promulgates throughout the city and the snow that falls down (in Chicago not here) makes me feel so festive and content with myself and everyone around me.

Living in Sunny San Diego hasn’t really gotten me in the Christmas Spirit because of how warm and well, sunny it is. It’s quite weird to think that 2000 miles away it home, where it’s snowing and cold, and here it’s still sunny and 75. While I’m absolutely in love with this weather here, I have begun to miss the snow and coldness of Chicago. Do I miss shoveling snow and frozen hair? Or the dirty snow that shows after hundreds of cars drive over it or the hidden ice beneath the snow that i seem to be attracted to? Of course not, but snow I believe does bring me closer to feeling festive. But, on December 18th I will be completely immersed in the Holiday spirit when I return home to the cold, dreary, Holiday filled Chicago life.

Nevertheless, every mall and superstore is crawling with Christmas Lights and Santa Claus blowups so I do feel a bit holiday-like.I can’t wait to decorate my dorm walls in lights and everything else Christmas. Especially since my wall of photos fell down in my dorm today. It used to be homey and now there’s just a blank wall. Nonetheless, I will continue singing and dancing to Christmas carols much to my roommate’s and the rest of my floor’s shagrin.

I’ll continue to discuss my love for the Holidays and discuss my Holiday experience.

Talk to you all soon
Alicia 🙂

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What’s crackalackin?

I apologize for my horrible blog post title, but it grabbed your attention, didn’t it? maybe it was to see if I am as lame as my title and perhaps you’re correct. Well, I suppose the thing to do in all blogs when beginning is to say who I am, what I’m going to talk about, basically the answer to the “how are you?” question that no one wants to hear but always asks anyway.

For starters, my name is Alicia and I am 18 years old. Currently I reside in San Diego, California, however I was born and raised in a little suburb about 10 minutes away from the City of Chicago. I chose to come to San Diego for college and it has been probably the greatest idea of my life. Ever since I had hypothesized about attending a university in California, many people have questioned why. Why would I go to a school over 2000 miles from home and can only see family 3-4 times per year. In complete honesty I felt as though I had to get away; from the toxic people around me, from my parents, and just to start fresh in a new city that I can call mine and no one else’s.  Some people are content with living in the same city for their whole lives, and raising a family in their childhood homes and never seeing the world but I’m not. I yearn for the day when I can travel the world and see all the continents and be a tourist and just live life in the moment. And I presume that since college is expensive no matter where you go, I figured I’d start my touring in college, in San Diego.Once I complete undergrad, I hope to go to grad school on the East Coast to further my knowledge of the US.

But enough about my need for travel, I guess I’ll talk about other aspects of my life. I’m a double major in Spanish and ______________. I’m still deciding between business, biology, journalism, and chemical engineering. I also have a minor in Interdisciplinary Studies which I am getting since I am in the Honors College at my school. Some possible career choices that I have are: editor of a magazine, engineer (my aunt and uncle work for Intel so they said they can get me a job), wildlife rehabilitation center worker/ owner, or maybe some random thing may occur where I decide that 8 years of babysitting haven’t exposed me to enough runny noses and crying children and I may decide that I want to teach English to children in Spain.

I am starting this blog because I have decided that I want to change myself. And I feel that the best way to do that id to have a support group of people who will listen and comment about challenges they have faced as well and to give constructive criticism and support along the way. By the title of this blog, you can see that I am a buddhist and a vegan. Well, an aspiring buddhist and vegan. I eat no dairy or gluten at the present moment, however after my roommate made me watch this video, I have decided to change my ways. After seeing what happens to these animals, I realized that I cannot eat them anymore. I also have always wanted to become a buddhist. I don’t believe in God, but I want to believe in myself, which is basically what buddhism is. So, that’s me. I hope to post at least two times a week, but being in college and all, I have zero motivation and zero time, so we’ll see how it goes.

Talk to you all soon

Alicia

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