What I’m putting my energy into in 2019

I am a girl who loves to sleep. However, most of my best writing and ideas come to me around 2am or later. Due to this, I only get a few good ideas and write a few good pieces once in a blue moon. The other night was one of those nights. I wrote my post “Long time no write” at 2am in a bed that’s not mine, in Wisconsin because I couldn’t sleep. I also had one major life-altering epiphany at 3am, which then resulted in me changing my entire blog’s look and theme. I didn’t fall asleep until 5:30 that morning.

Ever since I got to Athens in August, I haven’t had a good night’s rest. Whether I can’t fall asleep, wake up in the middle of the night, or toss and turn so much that I wake up in pain [never knew I was 60 years old now], I have had less than 5 good nights of sleep this whole semester. At first, I thought it was a bad bed. All semester I thought it was a bad bed. Then, I went home for Thanksgiving. I still couldn’t sleep. If my comfy bed and 1923469 pillows weren’t helping then what could it be?

I realized I’m stressed out of my damn mind. I put too much only my plate. I do and I do and I do and I do and I don’t have enough time in my day or enough energy in myself to do it all. I’ve been so stressed about doing it all that I can’t sleep. I’ve been pouring out of an empty cup for the past few months and my body and life are struggling because of it: I’ve gained at least 10 pounds, struggle to get through a day sans coffee, nap almost daily, I was sick the entire semester [not joking], and it’s almost impossible for me to fall asleep or to wake up.

Over this break, I haven’t been stressed. I’ve had little to no obligations and I’ve had absolutely no trouble sleeping. Quite the opposite; I’ve had trouble getting myself up because my body is trying to catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed out from the past few months.

I cannot keep pouring from an empty cup. Not if I want to be happy, not if I want to be healthy, and certainly not if I want to make it out of college with anything more than a head of gray hair. I need to make some decisions of what I’m going to be putting my energy into from here on out and I need to do it quick so I don’t lose my shit [for lack of a better phrase].

I need to spend my time and energy on things that are important to me and remove all [well as many of those as I am in control of] of the negative, stressful things and whatever doesn’t set my heart on fire. I need to reidentify what I’m pouring my heart into so I can give 100% to what matters to me; not 10%, not 50%, not 80%. 100% of myself to what makes me happy.

So, what do I need to remove from my life? What do I need to add? What do I need to keep in my life?

To be removed:

  • In a perfect world: stress, but in a real world: any unnecessary stressors – my treasurer position of 4 paws gave me too much stress with all of my other obligations so I now run the social media account which is a lot more low-key and I still get to be part of the org.
  • Social media – I can’t really do this at all because of CHAARG + 4 Paws. I could perhaps delete certain apps and only redownload when I need to post? I’ll ponder this for a while + update with my decision.
  • People – I used to be very follower crazed. I had an unfollower app so I could see who didn’t follow me back, who unfollowed me, etc. I went though my social media [Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat…I don’t really use Facebook anymore so going through that would be a waste of time] and unfollowed and unadded people I don’t really need in my life. People from high school, tinder matches, random people who I would follow back. Anyone who if unfollowed me first, I would reciprocate. Also, I would like to stop seeing people who don’t make me happy – however, that’s easier said than done…
  • Illness – Like I mentioned before. I was sick literally from September 1st until I went to the doctor over Thanksgiving. I need to be sure I’m sleeping enough, taking vitamins, eating good food, and getting some sunlight.
  • Screen time – My iPhone now tells me how much screen time I use daily and holy god was that a shock. The amount of time I use my phone and the amount of times I physically pick up my phone is astronomical and I did not think I used it that much. I want to start using less screen time [mentioned in my 2019 intentions post] by turning my phone off for periods of time, putting it in another room, throwing it in a river… so many options!
  • Spending $$ – I’m trying to study abroad once or twice in the next year and a half and I really can’t do that if I keep spending money. Obviously, there are things I need to buy like groceries, clothes on occasion, and bills, but I really need to limit my spending on things besides the necessities for my own sanity and my wallet’s as well.

Things to be added:

  • Self-care – I need to do more than face masks and bath bombs. I think the biggest item of self-care that I could do for myself if to create a routine – morning, workout, and night – put it in place, figure out how much time it takes, and then be sure to allocate time for it in my day.
  • Reading + writing time – I have time in my day where I could be reading or writing but I spend it on my phone, scrolling through social media, etc. I want to allocate 30 minutes per day [I can switch off perhaps] to do 2 of the things that I love the most
  • Follow through – I need to figure out how to commit to the things I want to do and follow through with my commitments
  • Savings account – I have one, I don’t really use it. With the removal of spending a crap load of money, I’ll be putting the excess into my savings account.]

Things to be kept: [Obviously there are other things I want to keep in my life besides these 3, however, I felt the need to include these.]

  • CHAARG – I love CHAARG [hence why I’m in it] + I was to keep loving CHAARG so it stays
  • Blogging – Same rationale for CHAARG
  • Being unapologetically myself – I feel like I try to change myself to please others or I feel that others try to change me and I end up apologizing for being who I am. No more. I’m me and no one is going to change that.

It’s interesting to see all of this in writing. How the things I want to add and subtract from my life outweigh the things I want to keep [not sure how I feel about that…].Now I need to put this plan into action + hopefully start refilling my cup. 🙂

Are there things you want to add to your life? remove from your life?

Much love,

Alicia

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18 things I learned in 2018

Hi all, if you couldn’t tell, 2018 was a pretty eye-opening year for me. I learned a ton, so I wanted to make another year-end post about what this year specifically taught me. Here are 18 things that I learned in the year 2018.


  1. There are not enough hours in the day – Use them wisely.
  2. Sometimes professors are nice enough to bump up your grade by .75% to get you a 4.0
  3. Knowing how to cook at least 5 things and having those ingredients readily available is vitally important to keep you from eating out every night
  4. Sometimes a night out with friends is the only thing you need.
  5. Other times, a night in with a bath and a good book is what you need
  6. While face masks and bath bombs aren’t the epitomai of self-care… they definitely make you feel like you have your life together
  7. Use your planner! Unless you want to schedule 4747 things in the same 45 minute period.
  8. There are few things better than baking on a Sunday morning while drinking coffee.
  9. Cold brew coffee is a gift from the Heavens
  10. Coffee from a coffee pot at home is also a gift because you are still caffeinated and $4 richer.
  11. A hike is never a bad idea
  12. Neither is yoga
  13. You may never know what happened between you and that person you were once so close with. Accept that fact and move on.
  14. Harry Potter World is 10x cooler than you’d expect it to be.
  15. Always choose comfort when wearing shoes for over 12 hours. Those blisters you have for the next week are NEVER worth all that pain
  16. No chip manicures always seem nice BUT they’re $40+, always chip AND one nice bottle of nail polish is less than $10. So, treat yourself for special occasions but a DIY manicure will, in the end, make you and your wallet feel much better.
  17. Your dog can never have too many toys.
  18. Put your phone down and be in the moment. You can answer those texts or play that game in a few hours.

What did you all learn in 2018?

Much love,
Alicia

2019 intentions

In one of my previous posts, I remarked at how I was not going to be making a huge list of resolutions, which I’m not. I am however going to be creating intentions as I did last year. These are different than goals [thanks to CHAARG for introducing these to me] in the sense that they aren’t necessarily accomplished. Instead of “Don’t use my phone when I’m with friends” I would say something along the lines of “Try to live in the moment when with others.” It’s more ambiguous and less strict because odds are, I’m going to use my phone when I’m with others to text someone back, take a picture, check the weather etc. However, by saying to live in the moment, I know I mean to not have my eyes glued to my phone and be refreshing twitter and Instagram when I don’t need to be. These intentions are also usually not something you do once like “Get a 4.0” but more like “Never put your grades on the back burner and remember to always be learning.” These are obviously 2 completely different things but if I were to put “Get a 4.0” and I got one A-, I would beat myself up about it for weeks. Whereas, with the latter, I know that even if I get an A- or two, I put my all into my learning. So, now that the resolution vs intention lesson is over; here are my intentions for the year 2019.

  • Follow through on things I begin.
  • Get stronger physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  • Never put my grades on the back burner and remember to always be learning.
  • Try to live in the moment when with others.
  • Pour my heart into the things I am passionate about.
  • Write; as much as I can, when I can.
  • Read; as much as I can, when I can.
  • Don’t be afraid to try new things – foods, cultures, ways of living, etc.
  • Put effort into all of my current and future relationships.
  • Make an effort to use less screen time, especially during the week.

These are my 10 intentions for 2019 and always. What are yours?

Much love,

Alicia