31 days of self-love challenge: Day 10

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 10

 How can you set better boundaries in your life?

I’ve never been one to set boundaries well, in fear of backing down on them or hurting others but a friend of mine and I recently had a conversation about boundary setting so I’ll post her tips for this one.

  1. When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, apologize for, or rationalize the boundary you are setting. Just set the boundary calmly, firmly, clearly, and respectfully.
  2. After setting your boundaries, you are in no way responsible for how others react to the said boundary. Do not back down on it just to make others happy.
  3. If you feel selfish or guilty about your new boundary, that’s okay. Keep strong with your boundaries.
  4. Most people are willing to respect your boundaries, but some are not. Be prepared for this and never back down.
  5. Setting boundaries can and will take time. Be patient
  6. Develop a support system of those who support your boundaries and keep them close.

How do you all set boundaries in your lives??

Alicia

 

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31 days of self-love challenge: Day 9

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 9

What’s something in your life that you need to get rid of?

Something I NEED  to get rid of (but is SO SO SO hard to do) is negativity. I feel like everyone has quite a bit of negativity accompanying them, due to stress, our government, work, etc. However, I feel like mine is a bit more internal.

I want to be one of those girls who is filled with sunshine and rainbows, but instead, I’m filled with self-deprecating humor and past trauma.

It’s so hard, especially when it comes to loving myself, body and mind, not to be negative. However, I’m not actively trying to remove it from my life. I’ll sometimes just be like “haha I have no friends,” “why am I ugly” or “I’m a failure.”

I really want to try to live a more positive life but I really don’t know what to do or how to start. How do you guys try to maintain positive and keep the negativity in your lives at a low?

Until tomorrow

Alicia

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 8

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 8

Where in your life do you need to slow down & take your time?

I think my whole self at school needs to slow down. I am constantly go go go, going to events, class, the gym, work, doing homework, and making time to be social can be a lot. I sometimes forget to relax.

In San Diego, I relaxed too much, so my grades suffered so I made it a mission that when I came to Ohio I wouldn’t let the same thing happen. In all of this studying and making friends and everything else, I forgot to take my time and slow down a bit. This entire semester I watched maybe 30 hours of Netflix. I know this seems trivial, but I watched at least 5 times that in San Diego.

This semester, my goal is to create a balance. I need a balance of school, work, social, and downtime. I always seem to have 1 or 2 of the three, but never all of them and I’m really going to try to create a balance of them all, no matter how long it takes.

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 7

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 7

Name a thing you love about your body and your personality

This one also proved very hard for me to come up with. Something I love about my personality is my sense of humor. I am very sarcastic which can be taken wrong but it usually works in my favor. My sense of humor has always been a way for me to make friends/ make small talk or first conversations less awkward. People also always remark on my sense of humor and that they think I’m funny so it’s nice that others appreciate something that I love as well!

Something I love about my body is my hair. It’s soft and long and like 7 different colors which makes it look super cool when braided. I know that I sometimes complain about how it doesn’t hold a curl and how it’s so straight but at the end of the day, I’d take straight soft hair over a bunch of tangles and frizz.

What do you all love about yourselves??

Alicia

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 6

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 6

What do you need to forgive yourself for?

This is one that I’ve deemed quite difficult to come up with.  I’m not too sure how much this has to do with self-love but it is something I need to forgive myself for nonetheless.

Almost 8 years ago my grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We would drive down to my grandparents’ house every Sunday we could from the time she was diagnosed to the time she died, to get as much time with her as we could, however, at the time, I was unaware that this was why we frequented their house.

It was June, and we were having a party to celebrate the birthdays of myself, and my 2 cousins, whose birthdays are all within 2 weeks of each other. When it was time to go, we said our goodbyes and were heading out. I had already hopped in the car, buckled up, and was listening to some music on my iPod, when my dad came to the car and told me to say goodbye to my grandma.  I assured him that I’d done it already, yet he forced (harsh term but that’s how  I felt in the moment) me to go back inside and say goodbye again.

I sulked my way through the house to the back porch to where my grandma was sitting, lazily side hugged her, mumbled goodbye, and sulked back through the house to return to my seat awaiting me in the car.

It’s funny to me, at the time I thought I’d have thousands of more hugs from her, if not more, and that this one time wouldn’t be one of the last. Yet sitting here now, there isn’t one thing I wish I could do more than to hug her one last time.

I know this is something I may never forgive myself for, even though I need to. However, getting this out in the open is one step closer to forgiving myself, so all we can do it hope.

Until tomorrow

Alicia

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 5

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 5

What is something you need to start saying yes to?

Something I need to start saying yes to is hanging out with friends. Or more importantly not saying no.

I am one of those people who agrees to see people and then cancels last minute. However, later on, I feel bad about not seeing them and being alone and I wallow in self-pity.

I always get really anxious before hanging out with people (even my best friends haha no clue why) and I need to suffer through that little anxiety and see the ones I love or could start to love if I stopped bailing on them.

Until tomorrow

Alicia

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 4

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 4

What is a compliment that you struggle to accept about yourself?

A compliment that I always struggle to accept is that I’m pretty. Whenever people tell me that I’m pretty, I always brush it off with an “oh haha thanks.”

Everyone has an ugly phase, and mine started around 2nd grade and I’m not sure it ever really ended.  I endured years of bullying for how I looked, how I dressed, and how I acted. Naturally, my self-esteem took a turn for the worst and whenever anyone has ever complimented my outward appearance I’ve felt as though it were out of pity, even if they truly meant it.

That is one of the reasons I am doing this challenge. Self-love is a hard concept for me as I have created a life of self-hatred that stemmed from all of this hatred towards me from other people and due to this, I have never truly loved myself. Self-love is a life-long and challenging journey that we all must go through, and I’m really hoping that this challenge is the kickstart I need for a life of self-love for me and everyone else who reads this blog. 🙂

Until tomorrow

Alicia