As I sit here, perched in an almost empty bus without much leg room, somewhere in Indiana, I gaze longingly out of the beautiful picture window, my eyes focus on one thing. The clouds. I’ve… More
Hi all. It’s been a while. I have had roughly zero time to write recently. Between being gravely ill not once but twice, 7 classes which all include an obnoxious amount of work, my job, CHAARG, 4 Paws, and trying not to have more than one mental breakdown a week. Remember how last semester I told myself I wasn’t going to be pouring from an empty cup? It’s happening. So, today I wanted to come on here and figure my shit out [take a shot every time I’ve said that].
The concept of leadership is frustrating to me. I crave being a leader. I think I’m a natural born leader with a lot of self-doubt issues paired with crippling anxiety which makes me a rather awkward leader. When I’m confident about something I find leading easy. I’m able to make decisions on the fly and have the confidence in every decision I make. When I’m not so confident I tend to overthink my decisions, become indecisive, look to every possible source for advice [my whole college career], and may come off as a poor leader. I’m not sure if that’s true or if it’s my brain telling me it’s true, but it’s what I think.
Despite what my brain thinks, I always apply for leadership roles. Ever since elementary school I was involved with clubs where I looked to lead, I was on student government in leadership roles all throughout my middle school and high school careers, I was an editor for the yearbook every year I was on the staff, I was golf team captain, I was the president of AST [another club in high school] I’m a manager at work, I applied to be an RA, I’m going to be a Learning Community Leader, I’m on the exec teams of both of the organizations I’m in… I could go on. Almost every single thing I’ve ever been involved in, I’ve been a leader in it. It’s natural for me, to want more. I like to keep working up the ladder as far as I can go. This is one of the reasons I thought I’d excel in Business. I’d be CEO of a company in no time ;).
Why do I do this? Why is it that I feel the need to take on any position that comes my way? Why can’t I sit on the sidelines and let others be in charge? I think it comes from my need to have control. I didn’t really know I had control issues but it’s something I’ve come to notice as of late. I have never sat on the sidelines on anything I’ve been involved in [except for when I first join] because I crave being a leader. I don’t know if it’s because I love sharing my love for whatever I’m involved in with other people, I need to be in control, the whole “You NEED leadership experience on your resume” that’s been shoved down my throat my whole life or a mix of all three, but here I am, having just applied for my newest leadership position, CHAARG Ambassador [the equivalent of the president].
I’ll be the first to say that I’ve been conflicted on doing so. I’ve wanted to apply for Ambassador since last year when I applied for the same role. [I’m glad I didn’t get it but I didn’t know that other exec applications would go out again so I applied for what I could]. After my last semester in CHAARG, I almost didn’t return to the organization let alone exec because I was so frustrated. If I was so frustrated why would I keep moving up the ladder? Why do I still want to apply for Ambassador, intern, CLC, etc. in my future CHAARG endeavors? Obviously, I love CHAARG + all it’s done for me, so naturally, I want to keep at it. But when it’s one of my greatest stressors, is it worth it? I want to keep spreading my love for CHAARG to anyone and everyone I can despite the stress I’m under. I think If I didn’t reapply I’d regret it more than if I kept doing it and was stressed as much as I normally am.
I’ve submitted my application for Ambassador and obviously, I hope that I get the position. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may not receive it and that it’s going to be okay. I might apply for another exec position [definitely not treasurer though] or I might spend my last semesters at OU as a regular CHAARG member, once again anticipating newsletters hitting my inbox every Sunday night at 10pm and wondering what exec has planned at all the events.
If I don’t get an exec position it will be weird. Not having control of something for one of the first times ever will be weird. It will be good too. It will be good for me. To not be in control. Either way, I think I will be okay. I’ll need to adjust but I’ll still love CHAARG. I’ll still share my love for CHAARG. Which is what it’s all about anyway.
In my future, I’m going to need to realize that I can share my love for what I love without being in control. This may be the start of that journey and it may not. But only time will tell.
“The burdens of leadership are often heavy, but the world is a better place because we have borne them” – Barack Obama
Much Love ❤
Hi all. I’m back at school and already go go go and it’s only the start of week 2. Between working double what I did last semester, 19 credit hours (7 classes), and being on the exec board of 2 orgs, I’m being hit hard with life. I’m sick already (are we surprised?) and I’m TIRED (I have been taking melatonin to help me sleep and while it doesn’t help me sleep through the night it does help me get to bed much earlier than before so I’m thankful for that). But here I am, still making time to do what I love: sitting in a coffee shop after my class got cancelled to drink a latte, eat a vegan cookie, and write while wearing very cute clothes (all of which I got for Christmas or bought with Christmas $$). Already I’ve become so thankful for the feeling of laying in my bed after not being home for 12 hours and my breaks between class when I can sit and rest for a bit. It’s the little things this semester.
I got back to Athens 2 weeks ago today to start work. As a manager, I had to be back early to set up the store, get trained, and make more money! Then class started last Monday as did all things CHAARG and 4 Paws. I’ve talked extensively about how much I put on my plate and how that needs to change yet this semester is no different. In what I dropped in exec board duties I picked up in classes and work. It has sucked quite a bit but the fact that my next paycheck is going to be over double what it was last semester is definitely a big perk.
I’m doing well coexisting with my roommates. As well as I can when we disagree over the temperature of the apartment. I’m content with 65 degrees. They prefer to have the apartment as hot as Satan’s armpit which I don’t care for but what I really don’t care for is paying for it. After our electric bill was $200 for the month of December and no one was home for half of the month, I’d had it. So, after I blatantly heard them talking about me in my own kitchen while I was doing homework in bed, I walked out, told them they could keep it as high as they wanted, but I was not paying for it. We finally agreed that I would pay no more than $30 per month (which is still excessive, but I really don’t care as long as I don’t have to argue about this anymore) and then I returned back to my room to keep on living my life. We love a good roomie compromise I suppose.
I’ve been eating pretty well + working out when I find the time. I definitely need to make a workout schedule but since CHAARG will be in full swing next week I will have Tuesdays and Wednesdays covered + then a good workout after work on Mondays + before work on Fridays and after class Thursdays ++ I’m all set.
Finally, this new routine of mine allows minimal time to do things I enjoy doing that I haven’t already scheduled ie. Working out. I have to do all of my homework for the week the weekend prior because Tuesdays and Wednesday I have about an hour of free time after I eat, shower, sleep, etc. and that’s not enough time to do the homework for 7 classes. My procrastination habit will really be tested this semester but as long as I can make it through this week alive, I’m going to keep all the classes I currently have and then will only be enrolled in 4 classes next fall. Making my possibly last semester in Athens (more on that later) a feasible course load allowing more time for CHAARG, 4 paws, my friends, and of course, work.
Finally, with my routine, I have a hell of a lot of applications that I’m completing. I applied to study abroad in Spain this summer, and will be applying soon to complete my student teaching in another country (not sure where yet) next Spring. I’m also trying to make these next 3 semesters a little more financially easy on my family so I’m applying to every single scholarship OU offers that I’m eligible for so hopefully I get some $$ and can do all of the things abroad that I want.
A little tidbit I wanted to add here is that I’m also planning my next tattoo. Whenever I start a new job, I spend my first paycheck in any way that I want. I’m not sure who told me to do this but they should have kept their mouth shut. Anywho, since this manager position is technically new for me, I’m going to spend that money on a tattoo. I’m conflicted about which one I want as my list of potential tattoos is exponentially growing day to day. Currently, I’m between 3 tattoos.
- a bolt for CHAARG – the entire exec team wants to get them together. I would get this on my inner wrist.
- Atrevéte a … (soñar, vivir, or sentir) – This means “Dare to.. (dream, live, or feel)” I saw this graffiti on my first day in Peru + it’s meant a lot to me ever since. Therefore, I want to get it tattooed. I’d either get it done on my foot or ribs. I’m also not sure if I want dream, live, or feel. I’m leaning more towards live or feel but who knows?
- The last option is my personal favorite and the one that means the most. It would also be the most expensive but that’s a conversation for my tattoo artist and I. I want it on my right forearm (sorry dad). I want a person (torso up) wearing a black and white striped shirt holding a bouquet of flowers with the flowers covering the face. The flowers I would like are a red rose, a red poppy, a yellow lily, a yellow sunflower, and a pink cantuta. All of these flowers mean something to me + I think this would be so beautiful so once I figure out how much this would be, that will determine which one I get.
If you’re still in school, I hope your back to school is going smoothly and that nothing is too stressful yet. If you’re not still in school, you lucky duck.
I am a girl who loves to sleep. However, most of my best writing and ideas come to me around 2am or later. Due to this, I only get a few good ideas and write a few good pieces once in a blue moon. The other night was one of those nights. I wrote my post “Long time no write” at 2am in a bed that’s not mine, in Wisconsin because I couldn’t sleep. I also had one major life-altering epiphany at 3am, which then resulted in me changing my entire blog’s look and theme. I didn’t fall asleep until 5:30 that morning.
Ever since I got to Athens in August, I haven’t had a good night’s rest. Whether I can’t fall asleep, wake up in the middle of the night, or toss and turn so much that I wake up in pain [never knew I was 60 years old now], I have had less than 5 good nights of sleep this whole semester.
At first, I thought it was a bad bed. All semester I thought it was a bad bed. Then, I went home for Thanksgiving. I still couldn’t sleep. If my comfy bed and 1923469 pillows weren’t helping then what could it be?
I realized I’m stressed out of my damn mind. I put too much only my plate. I do and I do and I do and I do and I don’t have enough time in my day or enough energy in myself to do it all. I’ve been so stressed about doing it all that I can’t sleep. I’ve been pouring out of an empty cup for the past few months and my body and life are struggling because of it: I’ve gained at least 10 pounds, struggle to get through a day sans coffee, nap almost daily, I was sick the entire semester [not joking], and it’s almost impossible for me to fall asleep or to wake up.
Over this break, I haven’t been stressed. I’ve had little to no obligations and I’ve had absolutely no trouble sleeping. Quite the opposite; I’ve had trouble getting myself up because my body is trying to catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed out from the past few months.
I cannot keep pouring from an empty cup. Not if I want to be happy, not if I want to be healthy, and certainly not if I want to make it out of college with anything more than a head of gray hair. I need to make some decisions of what I’m going to be putting my energy into from here on out and I need to do it quick so I don’t lose my shit [for lack of a better phrase].
I need to spend my time and energy on things that are important to me and remove all [well as many of those as I am in control of] of the negative, stressful things and whatever doesn’t set my heart on fire. I need to reidentify what I’m pouring my heart into so I can give 100% to what matters to me; not 10%, not 50%, not 80%. 100% of myself to what makes me happy.
So, what do I need to remove from my life? What do I need to add? What do I need to keep in my life?
To be removed:
- In a perfect world: stress, but in a real world: any unnecessary stressors – my treasurer position of 4 paws gave me too much stress with all of my other obligations so I now run the social media account which is a lot more low-key and I still get to be part of the org.
- Social media – I can’t really do this at all because of CHAARG + 4 Paws. I could perhaps delete certain apps and only redownload when I need to post? I’ll ponder this for a while + update with my decision.
- People – I used to be very follower crazed. I had an unfollower app so I could see who didn’t follow me back, who unfollowed me, etc. I went though my social media [Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat…I don’t really use Facebook anymore so going through that would be a waste of time] and unfollowed and unadded people I don’t really need in my life. People from high school, tinder matches, random people who I would follow back. Anyone who if unfollowed me first, I would reciprocate. Also, I would like to stop seeing people who don’t make me happy – however, that’s easier said than done…
- Illness – Like I mentioned before. I was sick literally from September 1st until I went to the doctor over Thanksgiving. I need to be sure I’m sleeping enough, taking vitamins, eating good food, and getting some sunlight.
- Screen time – My iPhone now tells me how much screen time I use daily and holy god was that a shock. The amount of time I use my phone and the amount of times I physically pick up my phone is astronomical and I did not think I used it that much. I want to start using less screen time [mentioned in my 2019 intentions post] by turning my phone off for periods of time, putting it in another room, throwing it in a river… so many options!
- Spending $$ – I’m trying to study abroad once or twice in the next year and a half and I really can’t do that if I keep spending money. Obviously, there are things I need to buy like groceries, clothes on occasion, and bills, but I really need to limit my spending on things besides the necessities for my own sanity and my wallet’s as well.
Things to be added:
- Self-care – I need to do more than face masks and bath bombs. I think the biggest item of self-care that I could do for myself if to create a routine – morning, workout, and night – put it in place, figure out how much time it takes, and then be sure to allocate time for it in my day.
- Reading + writing time – I have time in my day where I could be reading or writing but I spend it on my phone, scrolling through social media, etc. I want to allocate 30 minutes per day [I can switch off perhaps] to do 2 of the things that I love the most
- Follow through – I need to figure out how to commit to the things I want to do and follow through with my commitments
- Savings account – I have one, I don’t really use it. With the removal of spending a crap load of money, I’ll be putting the excess into my savings account.]
Things to be kept: [Obviously there are other things I want to keep in my life besides these 3, however, I felt the need to include these.]
- CHAARG – I love CHAARG [hence why I’m in it] + I was to keep loving CHAARG so it stays
- Blogging – Same rationale for CHAARG
- Being unapologetically myself – I feel like I try to change myself to please others or I feel that others try to change me and I end up apologizing for being who I am. No more. I’m me and no one is going to change that.
It’s interesting to see all of this in writing. How the things I want to add and subtract from my life outweigh the things I want to keep [not sure how I feel about that…].Now I need to put this plan into action + hopefully start refilling my cup. 🙂
Are there things you want to add to your life? remove from your life?
Hi all, if you couldn’t tell, 2018 was a pretty eye-opening year for me. I learned a ton, so I wanted to make another year-end post about what this year specifically taught me. Here are 18 things that I learned in the year 2018.
- There are not enough hours in the day – Use them wisely.
- Sometimes professors are nice enough to bump up your grade by .75% to get you a 4.0
- Knowing how to cook at least 5 things and having those ingredients readily available is vitally important to keep you from eating out every night
- Sometimes a night out with friends is the only thing you need.
- Other times, a night in with a bath and a good book is what you need
- While face masks and bath bombs aren’t the epitomai of self-care… they definitely make you feel like you have your life together
- Use your planner! Unless you want to schedule 4747 things in the same 45 minute period.
- There are few things better than baking on a Sunday morning while drinking coffee.
- Cold brew coffee is a gift from the Heavens
- Coffee from a coffee pot at home is also a gift because you are still caffeinated and $4 richer.
- A hike is never a bad idea
- Neither is yoga
- You may never know what happened between you and that person you were once so close with. Accept that fact and move on.
- Harry Potter World is 10x cooler than you’d expect it to be.
- Always choose comfort when wearing shoes for over 12 hours. Those blisters you have for the next week are NEVER worth all that pain
- No chip manicures always seem nice BUT they’re $40+, always chip AND one nice bottle of nail polish is less than $10. So, treat yourself for special occasions but a DIY manicure will, in the end, make you and your wallet feel much better.
- Your dog can never have too many toys.
- Put your phone down and be in the moment. You can answer those texts or play that game in a few hours.
What did you all learn in 2018?
In one of my previous posts, I remarked at how I was not going to be making a huge list of resolutions, which I’m not. I am however going to be creating intentions as I did last year. These are different than goals [thanks to CHAARG for introducing these to me] in the sense that they aren’t necessarily accomplished. Instead of “Don’t use my phone when I’m with friends” I would say something along the lines of “Try to live in the moment when with others.” It’s more ambiguous and less strict because odds are, I’m going to use my phone when I’m with others to text someone back, take a picture, check the weather etc. However, by saying to live in the moment, I know I mean to not have my eyes glued to my phone and be refreshing twitter and Instagram when I don’t need to be. These intentions are also usually not something you do once like “Get a 4.0” but more like “Never put your grades on the back burner and remember to always be learning.” These are obviously 2 completely different things but if I were to put “Get a 4.0” and I got one A-, I would beat myself up about it for weeks. Whereas, with the latter, I know that even if I get an A- or two, I put my all into my learning. So, now that the resolution vs intention lesson is over; here are my intentions for the year 2019.
- Follow through on things I begin.
- Get stronger physically, mentally, and emotionally.
- Never put my grades on the back burner and remember to always be learning.
- Try to live in the moment when with others.
- Pour my heart into the things I am passionate about.
- Write; as much as I can, when I can.
- Read; as much as I can, when I can.
- Don’t be afraid to try new things – foods, cultures, ways of living, etc.
- Put effort into all of my current and future relationships.
- Make an effort to use less screen time, especially during the week.
These are my 10 intentions for 2019 and always. What are yours?
Hi everyone and happy last day of 2018. This year absolutely flew by + It’s a little bittersweet that it’s ending, however, I’m hoping 2019 is everyone’s best year yet! Just like last year, I wanted to make a little year in review to showcase my 2018 [especially these past few months with no posts]. Here was my 2018!
In January, I headed back to Athens to begin my second semester at Ohio University. Nothing significant happened to me, but my roommate got a boyfriend (sort of…) so go her!
I met some amazing people through CHAARG in February and worked out with 2 of my best friends for the first time! Crazy how time flies. OU also flooded and we got a 3 day weekend because of it! February consisted of a lot of interviews, a lot of rejection, and a lot of teaching myself how to handle it. It was rough during the time but I’ve learned so much because of it. Rejection is never easy but sometimes those things just weren’t meant to be.
Fest season began in March. I’d never experienced a “darty” quick like OU in my life. It’s very crazy and hectic but with the right people can be fun! I also headed home for Spring break in which I did pretty much nothing besides catch up on homework and hang out with my dog. It ended with the CHAARG formal [in which I was given the award of “Boss A$$ Bitch”] and me being chosen to be on CHAARG’s exec team.
With mom’s weekend, finals prep, and CHAARG coming to a close, April was a whirlwind. Trying to squeeze as much time in with my friends before heading home for the summer, more fests, and simultaneously trying to not fail all my classes was rough but I conquered. I ended the semester with all As [one A- but who’s counting?] for my best semester [grade wise and others] yet!
Upon returning home on May 1st, I had a whole lot of nothing to do. The lady I nannied for the summer before, who ensured I’d have a job this summer, didn’t get a job herself so my service to them was unneeded. I applied for a few jobs that were close by but none of them wanted a college kid who would only be there for a summer or two. So, I was left jobless and bored counting floor tiles in my kitchen. Nevertheless. I spent May catching up with high school friends, celebrating my dog’s 2nd birthday + 1st gotcha day and reacclimating to my life at home.
Did somebody say road trip? In June, my family + I took a road trip to Orlando Florida to visit Universal studios for the first time! We stopped in Chatanooga TN to see Ruby Falls, St. Augustine Florida to see one of the oldest colonial cities in the USA, hit Universal for 3 days, and then back up to Sarasota Florida, to visit some family friends. I was able to live out my dream of being a witch in Harry Potter World, turn 21 + enjoy my first few legal drinks poolside, and get some much needed Vitamin D. I was able to finish off the month with some FREE tickets to see Harry Styles [the love of my life] on tour with a good friend of mine!
Back to school already? Nope! In July I did make a trip to Ohio, but for reasons besides school. I visited my friend Olivia + her friend Kennedy in their hometowns for an early birthday celebration for Olivia. It was cool to see where they are from, spend more time with their dogs than with them and meet their families.
I headed back to school 2 weeks early in August. It was nice to be back in Athens when there’s no one else around. It’s peaceful and the feel, in general, is much different than the following 8 months. I was able to bike a lot, go to the gym a lot, see my school friends, do CHAARG stuff, and then also do early move in for my work. Finally, school started. I had a whole one day with my business classes, realized it wasn’t for me, headed right back to the education building, switched my major back and it was as if my business career had never happened.
Once I was back in the swing of things with all of my education classes, my education friends, etc. I was able to focus on working hard in all aspects of my life. On September 11th I did a stair challenge with some CHAARG girls. We ran the number of stairs that were in a twin tower building to remember the lives lost on 9/11. It was HARD but I’m so glad I did it because it was SO motivating doing that with other CHAARG girls. That following Tuesday, I broke my pinkie finger, I was lifting an 85 pound ball of cement, picked it up wring, and then it landed on my pinkie. 6 weeks in a splint, a lot of pictures, and some makeshift physical therapy to learn how to bend it again, + I was healed.
I began my student teaching in October. The school was 50 miles away and I had to get 40 hours there, so 8 or so time throughout the remainder of the semester, my friend Sara and I would drive there, grab coffee, and then do some student teaching to get ourselves one step closer to an education degree. Also in October, I participated in the NEDA walk, where I was a top overall donor and helped CHAARG become the highest group donor.
November started out strong with Dad’s weekend, in which my dad and I drank a lot of coffee, watched a lot of movies, and just hung out for three days. The following weekend was the CHAARG retreat which was just as magical as I imagined. I put SO much effort into that retreat + everyone loved it! The month ended with my being home for Thanksgiving, dying my hair again, and catching up on sleep
The semester ended just as every other one does; my orgs ending, an ungodly amount of group projects, and a lot of work. I got promoted at work so I am now a Student Manager which is very cool. I ended the semester with a 4.0 and then I headed home for the rest of December which is where I am now, surrounded by a lot of good people and a lot of good food.
I hope your 2018 was even better than mine!
Hi all, I hope you all haven’t forgotten about me. The last time I wrote [besides essays for class] was 138 days ago. August 14th to be precise. I hadn’t started my junior year of college, I hadn’t started my first semester on CHAARG exec, I hadn’t been promoted at work, I hadn’t dyed my hair, I hadn’t changed my major [more on that later]. I hadn’t done so many things 136 days ago.
I’ve been sitting at my computer over the past few days, pondering on what to say. Why haven’t I written anything in 136 days? Why have I rarely even logged onto WordPress in these last 136 days? Why haven’t I had any motivation or longing to write?
While I don’t know the answers to those questions, I do know I’ve been pretty miserable this semester. From school, to CHAARG, to my other orgs on campus, to work, to pretty much every other aspect of my life, has been miserable.
As I’m sure you all know by now, I put far too much on my plate. I take on every activity, every class, every extracurricular, every new position that I can. I try to do it all. I’ve exhausted myself. I could not find time to write this past semester because I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. When I wasn’t at school, a student org meeting, or work, I was studying, eating, showering, or sleeping.
This semester was rough, I’ll give myself that, but next semester with a new promotion at work, and more classes, along with all of my previous commitments… how am I to handle it? Over the past few months, I’ve realized on very large thing: there aren’t enough hours in a day.
I pride myself on being busy, on filling up my planner so I have to allocate time for working out, eating, showering, etc. Why do I do this? I can’t do everything in the world and still have time for my absolute favorite thing in the world: curling up in my bed at night and doing nothing; ie. staring at my phone or reading a good book. I need to start prioritizing my time and prioritizing what I do with my time and I need to do it fast before I exhaust myself next semester as well.
2019 is in two days. I don’t want to set a million resolutions for 2019. I want to set one: follow through. I am notorious for starting things. A new school, a new major, a new job, a new application, a new blog, a new journal, etc. Yet, I can never seem to finish these things I start. I love doing SO many things but there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do everything. In 2019 I want to follow through. I want to start [or continue] things that I am passionate about and I want to follow through with those things. I need to leave things less important to me in 2018 and bring what is vital to me into 2019.
I’ve got a few more posts of life updates, year wrap-ups, etc. on my to do list before the year’s end. I just wanted to make this to show you guys I’m not done with my blog, I’m not done with my writing. I just had to take a few months to really realize what was important to me and how to keep it in my life.
Hi everyone + Happy Tuesday! If you’ve been a follower for the last year or so, you may remember that I made a Back to School series last August. I got really positive feedback from it so I’ve decided to do it again this year!!! Let’s get started with it!
I am officially moved into my apartment at school + I’m very excited! Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I am living with 3 girls I do not know, all from other countries. One of them has brought her dad to stay for about 2 weeks + removed the furniture last night (unsure why) so I’m just trying to stick to my own schedule and live my own life until school starts.
So, from the title of this post you know I’m not sharing a tour of my apartment today (if I do one it will probably just be of my room) because it’s not fully finished, but it is a packing list for apartments! I definitely forgot some things and I brought things I for sure don’t need. Also, a ton of girls (freshmen) have no clue what to pack but with 22938 different packing lists available for freshmen, I figured I would make one for people in apartments because there are far fewer lists to get inspiration from but a lot more things to get! So, here is this artsy list of what to pack for an apartment (or at least what’s working for me).
Is there anything I’m forgetting or anything on this list that doesn’t need to be?
❤ Alicia ❤
Hi everyone + Happy Tuesday!! I wrote this post last week and totally forgot about it! I head back to school in 3 days + I’m SO excited!!! As I prepare for the school year to begin, I have a lot to do + I’m putting everything on my intentions list for August. Here they are!
- Pack for school // I’m about half way done with this and after another load of laundry or two + some final purchases, I should be done soon!
- Make my apartment homey // I have been doing a bit of DIY (+ buying cute things) to get my apartment feeling like it’s all mine
- Prep my planner // I just got new pens + markers yesterday so I’M PUMPED to get my planner ready for this semester
- Develop my school routine // I’m getting back to school 2 weeks before school starts so I have plenty of time to get my workout, work, school, sleep, etc. schedules down pact.
- Work out 5-6 days a week // This is part of my school routine + 2 of those are already covered with CHAARG!!!
- Eat only things that make my body feel good // I’ve been having more stomach problems lately so I’m going to be doing a sort of experiment with foods I eat to see what is bothering my stomach
- Conquer my first week of school // Junior year here I come!
- Make some new recipes // I actually just tried a new one today (Chocolate Cherry energy bites… SO MUCH YUM) so I’m definitely ahead of the game!
- Start meal planning + prepping // With 6 classes MWF, eating good foods is going to take some prepping so every weekend I’m going to prep + plan my meals so I am eating healthy foods ++ enough of them
What are your intentions for the month?
❤ Alicia ❤
Hi everyone + Happy August 1st! Today is the best day ever because CHAARG memberships are officially open!! I stayed up until 11 last night [I’m usually in bed by 9 since I wake up early] to get mine + something I’ve noticed is that some people are hesitant to buy a CHAARG membership // think CHAARG isn’t for them. So, from one ex-CHAARG skeptic to a current, here’s why you should join CHAARG [or at least give it a shot].
Flashback to last August when I got yet another notification from the Ohio University Class of 2020 facebook group from an organization trying to get more people to join. However, this org was different… it was CHAARG. CHAARG is a health + fitness organization that aims to liberate girls from the elliptical + show them that fitness can ++ should be fun by creating opportunities to help them ‘find their fit.’
I like working out, I thought, so I clicked on CHAARG’s website to dive deeper. Reading about Elisabeth [CHAARG’s founder] to Sarah Clem [the director of expansion], + the rest of CHAARG’s story I was sold. A group of like-minded women being fit, hanging out, + enjoying the college experience together is what everyone wants… right?
Well, I somehow ended up scrolling through the OU CHAARG hashtag on Instagram + immediately began feeling anxious. The girls in this hashtag did CrossFit, lifted in the boy’s section of the gym, had run marathons, + more + what had I done?? I did the stair stepper [when the elliptical got boring] + the gym machines with at home workout videos when I was too anxious to actually go to the gym.
What if I didn’t fit in with these girls? What if they hated me? What if I wasn’t ‘fit’ enough? About 100 more what if statements flooded my mind until I was so overwhelmed that I closed my computer. Maybe CHAARG wasn’t for me? I’d think it over, of course, + put it on my to-do list before I left for school “Buy CHAARG membership ?”
After going back to that same hashtag probably a dozen times, I caved about a week after school started + bought my first ever CHAARG membership. Once I received the Welcome Packet on the 1st of September my nerves really started to set in. Those what ifs started to hit me like a train again but I couldn’t back out. I paid $45 so I was going to be a member.
That next week was sample small groups [a small group meets once a week for the whole semester with the same group of people on the same day + time to workout, grab coffee, etc.] + I was terrified to go to one. So, naturally, I went to the last possible small group that I was free for. Friday morning at 8:15 am. The night before I texted that small group leader Rachel to let her know I’d be attending + we designated a spot in the gym to meet.
That next morning, bright + early I walked to the gym, probably shaking so hard people could’ve asked if I was cold in the late summer heat.
However, the second I stepped into the gym + saw Rachel [who was probs wearing avocado patterned leggings] I knew I was going to be okay. Rachel [+ everyone else in CHAARG] is so kind, caring, + so positive it’s hard to not love her. We did an arm workout
+ ran on the treadmill for a while as we talked about anything from school, CHAARG questions, family life, etc. until it was 915 + she had to get to class.
I went back to my room, showered, + forced myself to go to a ‘meet the exec’ event at Front Room Cafe an hour or so later to meet Leah + Megan, the then event coordinators. Once again, I was still nervous, much less nervous after I’d met Rachel, but nervous nonetheless. I walked into frontroom, + immediately noticed Leah from the OUCHAARG hashtag + walked over to her + the others at the table. Leah, Megan + I talked about the sameish things I talked about with Rachel: school, CHAARG, home, San Diego, etc. I told Leah that I had just come from Rachel’s sample small group + she said that Rachel had put in their groupme that she met the sweetest girl at her sample SG that morning [ME] + I almost fell on the floor from flattery if I’m being honest.
At this point, I was in CHAARG. That next Tuesday was the CHAARG Welcome Party [which I get to plan this year.. CRAZY] + guess what ?!? I was nervous as shit AGAIN! I walked into whatever building, into whatever room + sat down next to an actual human. I didn’t sit far in a corner + I didn’t make sure to leave TONS of space in between me + another person, but I sat next to a person.
That person happened to be Sydney, my now CHAARG bestie. Sydney + I also made small talk as usual and took the picture you see to your left. Ever since that night, Sydney + I have sat next to each other at every CHAARG event I’m forever grateful I stepped out of my comfort zone because I met her!
Now, as I share all of this + while it seems that all of my nerves were calmed… they weren’t. I went to every small group that semester except 1 [?] + every social that I didn’t have a class conflict for, yet I didn’t go to a single studio spotlight [we contact studios in our area to come + teach class for our members to help in finding their fit]. I was terrified I wasn’t fit enough to do System of Strength + Pound. That I still wouldn’t fit in + so… I never went. I made up the excuse that I had a class conflict or I would get my Eventbrite ticket + cancel it last minute [I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to do that first semester… whoops].
My first semester, I applied to be CHAARG’s Treasurer [+ didn’t get it]. Naturally, I was pretty disheartened by it + I actually thought about not returning to CHAARG spring semester. I was angry that I hadn’t gotten the position + that I hadn’t gotten that life-changing or eye-opening CHAARG experience others had had… was CHAARG really not for me?
However, I knew I needed to try again. Just because CHAARG didn’t work out in my favor first semester didn’t mean I wasn’t going to give it another go. I bought my spring membership on Black Friday + made a promise to myself that I would go to EVERY SINGLE CHAARG event that I could because I was sad + upset that CHAARG wasn’t changing my life the way it changed everyone else’s + that’s just what I did.
Spring semester I realized one very crucial CHAARG fact that no one tells you: CHAARG can’t change your life if you don’t let it. I had to put in the effort with CHAARG in order to receive that life-changing experience in return
My first semester of OU sucked [I actually contemplated transferring again]. I only talked to my roommate, CHAARG girls but strictly at CHAARG events, + some work people. I didn’t eat. I only worked out during small group. I self-harmed time + time again for the first time in ages + I was all around not happy. It wasn’t OU’s fault but more so mine.
I was unhappy before OU so it’s no surprise I was still unhappy in Athens. I wanted CHAARG to change my life so dearly because I hated it but I wasn’t willing to put in the effort.
CHAARG changed my life 2nd semester because I made it do so. I went to every studio spotlight + found a love for Pound, Yoga + Zumba!! I went to every small group + social ++ I met so many kind + passionate people ++ I used CHAARG to my advantage so it did change my life.
I eat now. I workout now [for fun + not for a punishment]. I can walk in public without music or talking to someone on the phone. I can talk in front of people. But most importantly, I’m happy now.
CHAARG isn’t this scary thing that only people who do CrossFit or participate in bodybuilding comps can be in. CHAARG is a place for anyone + everyone who have a passion for mental, phyiscal + emotional fitness whether you’ve just started this journey today or 15 years ago.
Remember this: CHAARG can change your life, but only if you let it.
❤ an ex CHAARG skeptic.