31 days of self-love challenge: Day 22

What things make you feel bad, but you find yourself doing anyway?

Well, where do I begin? I feel like I do a lot of things that make me feel bad but I still do them which is not really good?????? Humans don’t like change and changing my bad habits for good ones are not easy and I guess we have to pick our battles and this is not a battle I’m looking forward to.

Something I do a lot that makes me feel bad is isolating myself. I’m a pretty introverted person, to begin with, yet I still like human interaction. I mean I’m comfortable being alone but I still do like hanging out with my friends (not every day but decently enough). I’m definitely one of those plan cancellers. I make up shitty excuses like family emergencies, or I’m getting sick, or we went out of town on Thursday instead of Friday or whatever to get out of plans because that felt like the right thing to do at the time.

However, a few hours later or when the time I would’ve left comes I immediately regret it. I spend the night checking my other friends’ Snapchats, Instagrams, Facebooks, Twitter, etc. and I see them having so much fun. It always makes me sad for 2 reasons. 1. Why did I not go? I could’ve been having fun and see my friends who I only get to see a few times a year and 2. Would they be having this much fun if I were there?

So, not only do I regret not going but I also feel like they’re having more fun without me. It’s really shitty and I do it far too often and it’s such a hard thing to break. I’m all for taking a break on a Friday or whatever and having a night in, however, when you do it weekly???? Not good. I’m actively trying to do it less and less and over break a lot of the places I went to were concerts, so I’d already paid so obviously I wasn’t going to miss! Also, I just need to start thinking how great I feel when I’m with my friends and that they all love me or they wouldn’t invite me to hang out with them. Baby steps I guess but I’m getting there.

Do you guys do the same as me? Or is there something else you do that makes you feel bad?

Alicia

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