Change

Good afternoon everyone. I am currently supposed to be reading a chapter for my  Intro to Education class, so naturally, I thought I would sit down and write something.

For the past few weeks, I have been doing a lot of reflecting… and a lot of homework, but let’s not discuss that. Something that always makes me anxious is change. However, all of my best memories came from when I made a big change. Going to San Diego, going vegan, taking a year off of school, going to Peru, transferring to Ohio, joining CHAARG… I could go on. So, then why is it that change makes us so anxious? Why is it that that cancel plans, don’t start new projects, and give up on goals when those are the things we know can/will be in our best interest. Change is so good for us, for our body, for our mind. So good. Why do we fear change?

Today is the start of CHAARG’s fall fit plan and I woke up bright and early at 630 to get to the gym by 730 and get that workout in before my day started. It is also the start of the second half of the semester (seems like just yesterday I was crying in Baker’s 5th-floor bathroom) and I have realized something, I need to stop hating change. Change is hard, change can be messy, and change can be scary, but it can also be incredible, exhilarating, and well worth it.

I am going to try to make a few changes in my life and I will be trying a new change each week of the fitplan (fitplan is 6 weeks so 6 goals).

My goal for this week is to eat at the dining halls… ALONE. Something that has always made me so anxious is being alone. I don’t want to seem like a loner. I feel the need to call someone every time I’m walking alone. If I can’t walk alone… how can I eat alone? In my 7 weeks at OU, I have eaten at a dining hall 5 times… each and every one of those times I was with at least one person.

This afternoon, I walked into the dining hall, alone, and I got food. I got the food to go, mainly because I had homework to attend to but also because I was uncomfortable, but I swiped in aloe nonetheless. I am trying to go to the dining hall daily for lunch (except Tuesdays because I work during the lunch hours) and sit in a little booth, alone. I can work on homework, fiddle on my phone or just simply sit, but I need to be able to be alone, comfortably, in public.

Alicia

One thought on “Change

  1. Good luck with your new goals you’ll do great! It’s always a bit odd to do things alone, the more you do it though the more normal it’ll feel! It’s definitely worth the initial awkwardness to have one less thing to think about! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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