Sup fam. Happy New Year. I did a whole lot of popcorn and ice cream eating last night, followed by cards and my dad singing from the other room. I have decided to take a walk down memory lane that was 2016. 2016 in general sucked ass, however personally, it was hit or miss. I’m going to go thru the months and share some of my most memorable moments.
New year, new hair. The most exciting thing about January was dying my hair red. I also started my second semester of school but that’s not important. I also got a traffic ticket in January, which also sparked the first time I ever cried in a public bathroom, but let’s not talk about that.
February was such an irrelevant month filled with homework, coffee shops, and the start of politics. The only remotely interesting thing was that Leonardo DiCaprio won his Oscar. That’s it, bye February you irrelevant month.
Breaking news! Martin O’Malley drops out of presidential election! Basically the saddest news of 2016. Followed by my innerds combusting inside of me giving me my period at an alarming rate for the entire month. The only good thing that happened in March was my friend Marisa coming to visit and going home to a nice warm bed and home cooked food.
April is the month of final projects in school. I was cursed with my group and did 97% of the work for ours. We ended up receiving the highest grade in the class, but only thanks to me. My cousin also married her high school sweetheart so that was adorable.
Welcome to the big girl world. I finished my first year of college in May and started my first real job. My sister also graduated 8th grade, so she’s moving up in the world too.
Bye bye to my social life and up-to-dateness on everything. I gave up social media completely during June and am still glad I did it.
“She looks so perfect standing there” with her broken toe covered in an ice wrap. My dog broke her toe in July and had to ice and heat her poor foot every day. I also saw my favorite band in concert so that was one of the best days of my life. as well.
Such a preface to fall. I fell out of my kayak in August. I also redownloaded social media but that’s not too much of an event.
Wake me up when September ends. Literally, this month I started my babysitting job and soon realized I needed to quit said job.
October was cool, and I don’t just mean the weather. I quit my babysitting job from hell and saw one of my favorite bands, Saint Motel
Hey Chicago, what do you say, the Cubs won the World Series today. Just when I thought that everything was right in the world, Donald Trump flipped me the bird, spat on my face, grabbed me by the p*ssy, and won the presidential election. But then my dog turned 10 on November 10th, so I was able to forget about Satan and his soon to be reign for at least a few days.
“This is where I binge eat vegan donuts in my corolla.” On December 8th I had the pleasure of seeing my favorite comedian, Chris Fleming. It was fab and basically the only thing eventful that happened in December; unless you call getting shit on for your makeup on Christmas by your whole family eventful.
That was my 2016, how was yours?